No matter how old we are, most of us have something that we constantly struggle within ourselves that we would like to change. It could be either fear of something (or someone), lack of courage to go after what our heart’s desire, lack of coincidence, insecurities, strong opinions, being judgmental etc. Whatever it is, as we grow older they also grow with us. Finally, it sometimes gets to a point that, it blends into our personality, and it becomes a characteristic. May be we don’t see it in ourselves, but sure others do. Sometimes, it could be a good thing, but other times it could drag us down. May be it could be the reason for our failures in few cases. Well then how we know about it??? To answer to this, let’s ask ourselves a few questions. How often do we evaluate ourselves? How often do we think about changing ourselves? If so, how hard do we really try to change? All I can say is it depends on what we are trying to change and our past experience with it.
Let’s get to the topic now. I think I am a sweet girl like any other girl. Growing up I was faced with so many challenges which made me a better person. This was the age where we mature mentally and broaden our perspective. I have changed in so many ways for the better, but in the process I lacked one thing, an important thing, Optimism. Unfortunately, optimism is very important for a person. It is what make us see hope for the future in many situations. Being positive even when life hits hard on us is very important. This is what helps us to move forward and regain control over our life.
In my case, I did not even realize that I was lacking positive thinking until I came across a situation almost a year ago. My better half used to say, ‘why do I first see negativity before even trying to think about the other outcome?’ I used to reason with him, saying, ‘it’s my character, I want to prepare for the worst case first’. I always thought that’s the better way to think, but then everything changed. On a Friday evening, my husband and I were going out for dinner like we do on most Friday’s. We are going to a restaurant to which we have never been to, so we took a different route. It was little after 7 pm, dark outside since it was in the month of February. He was driving and we were chatting and laughing. When taking a turn from an interstate road to a local road, we did go over the curb hitting the pavement. There was less traffic and luckily a gas station located next to us, so we pulled the car into a gas station. Nothing happened to either of us except for the tire being ruptured completely. Me being me (old me of Course), started making the situation unpleasant by seeing the negativity. Argued with my husband about being cautious while driving and blah blah blah. Since we just got new tires for the car less than a week ago, it made me very upset. Damaged tire is of no use, it needs a replacement. I made the situation worse between us when there is no reason for it to be. I should be glad that nothing happened, what if a truck is behind us? Or what if we had hit another car? That very minute was the moment of realization of how far my thinking went. Lack of seeing the positive side of this very incident is simply unacceptable.
We must assume every event has significance and contains a message that pertains to our questions…this especially applies to what we used to call bad things…the challenge is to find the silver lining in every event, no matter how negative.
That night I realized how much I have changed over the past few years. I turned to someone else in the process of growing up. It is not how I portrayed myself. I think I got everything in the world, loving family, friends and a wonderful husband who would do anything for me. I questioned myself, why have I changed this much? It may seem insignificant, but it could become a problem in the future if I don’t address it now. Finally, with a strong determination, I made a promise to myself and my husband that ‘I will change my attitude’. I will change for the betterment of our life together, for our future, and finally I will change for me. I don’t want to be this mean person ever again.
Taking the first steps towards the change can be is tougher, because you are out of your comfort zone. Everything is possible once you see the change and believe it, you can by all means accomplish it. Once you get started and see how your life changes just by making few changes in your life, you will start looking for any other areas you might have in your life that you can emend. We start to enjoy ourselves being new you.
Tuning your mind the way you react to everything is crucial. That’s what I did. Before uttering a word out of my mouth, I gave myself a few seconds to analyze it and speak out in a positive manner. Of course, now and then I say negative stuff first, but hey, I’m human, I can’t be one hundred percent perfect but I overcame my issue.
I love the new ‘ME’. My perspective has been changed in the past year. Being optimistic made me a better person. I have grown mentally a lot in the past year than I did in the past several years. It may seem trivial, but when you accept it and put into practice, it blends into you bringing the better person out of you.
When I think about how much funnier my past few years would have been with this change in me, I regret why haven’t we had the car incident earlier? I would have enjoyed the past few years just like I did this past year. But I am glad it happened now instead of ten years from now. It’s been more than a year, and all I can say is I kept my promise, and I will never break it. I did it guys, so can you. Whatever you might be trying to change you can do it.